Just rambling about my boyfriend.

I you him. I love him so much. I do everything for him. I miss him. I sleep with his hoodies wishing it was him covering me with his body. And not a piece of material. I dream of him I always get separated from him and I scream for him in my dreams. Those are the nights I miss him the most. I wake up wishing he was right there to grab after my hellish nightmares. But he’s not. It kills me. He has slept with me before and he’s watched me sleep. It’s the safest I have ever felt in my entire life. I feel him holding me. And I sleep peacefully. That’s usually the only time I do because I know he’s there to protect me if needed.

We went to Philly together on a bus and he let me rest. I rested on his chest most of the trip and slept there. He held me in his arms and made sure I didn’t lean as far as to hit my head on the window. He let me use his hoodie to cover myself up with so I wouldn’t get cold from the AC. He didn’t sleep. Instead he stayed up and made sure I was safe. To protect me. I felt him kiss my forehead a few times while resting and I thought it was the sweetest thing and my heart loved it. He made sure I was safe.

We stayed overnight in Philly we had a long day at warped tour and after our shower I was so exhausted. I laid down in the bed and fell asleep within seconds. He still showered. He came back and I was half asleep. He laid down on the bed over me and talked to me sweetly. Telling me he was loved me and everything. I heard the whole thing. He kissed my lips and forehead and pulled me close to him after he laid down next to me. He held me as he fell asleep.

This guy is not perfect but he’s everything I never had. He holds me when I cry and wipes my tears away. He tries everything to get me to laugh when I’m upset and sometimes gets me to smile at the least. We may argue about him watching porn and I may hate sex because of my past but I still try to meet all his needs. I love him. I do it for him even though it triggered me for days. I will never ever find a guy that even comes close to him. We have out differences but try and work through them. He’s mine and I REally don’t know what I’d do without him. I love him to the moon and back. He’s my sunshine, my moonlight, my stars, and night sky. I love him with every inch of my soul and I miss him deeply right now.